“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” – Voltaire
During a recent radio appearance, Zayn Malik of One Direction “fame” (being apparently one of the “other” One Direction members ie not Harry Styles), refused a list of interview questions via his PR rep, leading the interviewer to cut the interview off before it began:
“Hi Zayn you’re a very busy guy. I want to talk to you but I can’t do that…no X Factor, no pranks….well that’s about going to do it. Thanks for taking the time to talk to us and continued success for the future.”
While I am, of course, devastated that I will now never know who Zayn’s celebrity crush is, I can understand his reluctance to face yet another who’s who of the “who cares” list of celebrity interview questions.
I am somewhat disappointed, however, that the interviewer could not muster the neurons to think up some original question ideas!
To help him out, I have compiled a list of backup celebrity interview questions for future such emergencies. However, since I cannot get onto Zayn for you, I shall interview myself instead.
(Feel free to share your answers to these questions also!)
YNU: So Carolyn, if I gave you an Elephant where would you hide it?
C: Well, I think the obvious place is Parliament: it would blend in with all the other elephants in the room…
YNU: What is the first thing you remember wanting to do with your life?
C: I wanted to be an architect, but then I found out you don’t get to keep all the houses you design.
YNU: What kitchen utensil would you be?
C: Hmmm… a vegetable peeler, so I get to see what’s going on below the surface of things…
YNU: Who is the person you trust most?
C: Myself – you never know what anyone else is really thinking!
YNU: What is the worst idea you ever had?
C: I once thought up “Pizza in a Jar” – the toppings would be layered in reverse order so you could spread them on the pizza from the base up… the only excuse I have is that I was 11 years old.
YNU: What was the first thing you ever got paid to do?
C: My sister and I used to make newspapers for our parents on weekends – a couple of times they gave us 20c for it. My (bossy) older sister was the Editor (naturally, she got to write all the stories) and I was Art Director (I was “allowed” to draw the pictures and word puzzles).
Non-parent payment, however, would have to be singing – I sang at a few weddings as a kid.
YNU: What is your life philosophy?
C: Have you noticed that “stressed” is “desserts” spelled backwards?!?
YNU: How much cash do you have on you?
C: $1.60… but $1 of that is my ‘trolley dollar’ for supermarket shopping… so I guess only really 60c. The most expensive thing I can do today is post a letter.
YNU: If you were a multi-millionaire, how much money would you be prepared to gamble?
C: I am cautious by nature, so $200 would be my limit no matter how rich I was!
YNU: Do you have a secret talent and what is it?
C: I am really good at picking plot endings in movies and TV shows. It diminishes my enjoyment, but I still get a kick out of it when I am (usually) right!
YNU: Which punctuation mark best describes you?
C: I would have to say a full stop – I like to have the last word.
And on that note…